(Intro)
I don’t think I could find a way to make it on this earth
What’s up, family?
Yeah, it’s yo cousin Carl, man, just giving you a call, man
I know you been having a lot on yo mind lately
And I know you feel like, you know, people ain’t been praying for you
But you have to understand this, man, that we are a cursed people
Deuteronomy 28:28 says
The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness
And astonishment of heart See, family
That’s why you feel like you feel like you got a chip on your shoulder
Until you finally get the memo, you will always feel that way
(Refrain)
Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle
Why God, why God do I gotta bleed?
Every stone thrown at you resting at my feet
Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Earth is no more, why don’t you burn this muh’f**ka?
I don’t think I could find a way to make it on this earth
(Verse 1)
I beat yo a$$, keep talking back
I beat yo a$$, who bought you that?
You stole it, I beat yo ass if you say that game is broken
I beat yo a$$ if you jump on my couch
I beat yo a$$ if you walk in this house
With tears in your eyes, running from Poo Poo and Prentice
Go back outside, I beat yo a$$, lil ni**a
That homework better be finished, I beat yo ass
Your teachers better not be bi**hing bout you in class
That pizza better not be wasted, you eat it all
That TV better not be loud if you got it on
Them Jordans better not get dirty when I just bought em
Better not hear bout you humping on Keisha’s daughter
Better not hear you got caught up
I beat yo a$$, you better not run to your father
I beat yo a$$, you know my patience running thin
I got beaucoup payments to make
County building’s on my ass
Tryna take my food stamps away
I beat yo a$$ if you tell them social workers he live here
I beat yo a$$ if I beat yo a$$ twice and you still here
Seven years old, think you run this house by yourself?
Ni**a, you gon fear me if you don’t fear no one else
(Chorus)
If I could smoke fear away, I’d roll that mothaf**ka up
And then I’d take two puffs
I’m high now, I’m high now
I’m high now, I’m high now
Life’s a bi**h, pull them panties to the side now
I don’t think I could find a way to make it on this earth
(Verse 2)
I’ll prolly die anonymous
I’ll prolly die with promises
I’ll prolly die walking back home from the candy house
I’ll prolly die because these colors are standing out
I’ll prolly die because I ain’t know Demarcus was snitching
I’ll prolly die at these house parties, f**king with bi**hes
I’ll prolly die from witnesses leaving me falsed accused
I’ll prolly die from thinking that me and your hood was cool
Or maybe die from pressing the line, acting too extra
Or maybe die because these smokers
Are more than desperate
I’ll prolly die from one of these bats and blue badges
Body slammed on black and white paint, my bones snapping
Or maybe die from panic or die from being too lax
Or die from waiting on it, die cause I’m moving too fast
I’ll prolly die tryna buy weed at the apartments
I’ll prolly die tryna diffuse two homies arguing
I’ll prolly die cause that’s what you do when you’re 17
All worries in a hurry, I wish I controlled things
(Chorus)
If I could smoke fear away, I’d roll that mothaf**ka up
And then I’d take two puffs
I’ve been hungry all my life
I’m high now, I’m high now
I’m high now, I’m high now
Life’s a bi**h, pull them panties to the side now
Now
(Verse 3)
When I was 27, I grew accustomed to more fear
Accumulated 10 times over throughout the years
My newfound life made all of me magnified
How many accolades do I need to block denial?
The shock value of my success put bolts in me
All this money, is God playing a joke on me?
Is it for the moment, and will he see me as Job?
Take it from me and leave me worse than I was before?
At 27, my biggest fear was losing it all
Scared to spend money, had me sleeping from hall to hall
Scared to go back to Section 8 with my mama stressing
30 shows a month and I still won’t buy me no Lexus
What is an advisor? Somebody that’s holding my checks
Just to f**k me over and put my finances in debt?
I read a case about Rihanna’s accountant and wondered
How did the bad girl feel when she looked at them numbers?
The type of s**t’ll make me flip out
And just kill something, drill something
Get ill and fill ratchets with a lil something
I practiced running from fear, guess I had some good luck
At 27 years old, my biggest fear was being judged
How they look at me reflect on myself, my family, my city
What they say bout me reveal
If my reputation would miss me
What they see from me
Would trickle down generations in time
What they hear from me
Would make em highlight my simplest lines
(Verse 4)
I’m talking fear, fear of losing creativity
I’m talking fear, fear of missing out on you and me
I’m talking fear, fear of losing loyalty from pride
Cause my DNA won’t let me involve in the light of God
I’m talking fear, fear that my humbleness is gone
I’m talking fear, fear that love ain’t living here no more
I’m talking fear, fear that it’s wickedness or weakness
Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive
Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth
And I can’t take these feelings with me
So hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Searching for resolutions until somebody get back
Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth
And I can’t take these feelings with me
So hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Wondering if I’m living through fear or living through rap
(Bridge)
Damn
Goddamn you
Goddamn me
Goddamn us
Goddamn we
Goddamn us all
(Outro)
Verse two says you only have I known of all the families of the Earth
Therefore I will punish you for all your iniquities
So until we come back to these commandments, until you come back to these commandments, we’re gonna feel this way, we’re gonna be under this curse
Because he said he’s gonna punish us, the so-called Blacks, Hispanics, and Native American Indians, are the true children of Israel
We are the Israelites according to the Bible
The children of Israel, he’s gonna punish us for our iniquities, for our disobedience, because we chose to follow other gods that aren’t his son, so the Lord, thy God, chasten thee
So, just like your children, your own son, he’s gonna chastise you because he loves you
So that’s why we get chastised, that’s why we’re in the position we’re in. Until we come back to these laws, statutes and commandments, and do what the Lord said, these curses are gonna be upon us
We’re gonna be at a lower state in this life that we live here in today, in the United States of America. I love you, son, and I pray for you. God bless you, shalom.
